2018 Rewind!

Hey, you guys!

Last day of the year! Woohoo or Thank God?

Unlike every other year, I really wanted this year to come to an end ASAP. It was a difficult or rather challenging year for me. Not completely grey though, it did include a few rainbows, a lot of happy memories, and lessons, but overall – blah! Read More

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TVF Tripling

Last night, I planned on watching some Indian Web Series, after hearing about all the buzz, I thought maybe I should try it on too. So I ended up watching TVF Tripling. I was really impressed with this different kind of series for the Indian Market and I ended up binge watching all the 5 episodes.

I also liked that the show had some message behind it, especially for the youth of today. Everyone is busy running behind things in life and they forget to actually live life. So is the character of Sumeet Vyas. Not everything can be achieved by planning and jotting down every step of life. Sometimes it is good to just take one step at a time and deal with what life throws at you. Amol Parashar, the doper guy, has acted really well and exactly how youth are today. Shown as an impulsive guy that doesn’t really plan anything and does what his heart wants.

Another important thing that I learnt from this was that even if certain situations don’t go the way you anticipated them to be, it is okay. Learn to deal with it instead of running away from it.

And last, but not the least, family. People will walk in and out of your lives, but family is constant.

Have you tried out this web series?
XOXO


Don’t Claim Your Baggage !

When you are out there in the real world, dealing with the work load, stress, negativity, unhappiness, tiredness, in short every thing that pulls you down, only you know what happens in your shoes. Your shoes know everything, it carries the weight of your baggage. And do you know how you can shed this weight? Its pretty simple. Every time that you enter your house and take off your shoes, collect all your tensions, your stress, your baggage and leave it with your shoes. Do not enter your house with the baggage-soiled-shoes. Leave them at the door. And the next day when you want to wear your shoes again, it is upto you whether you want to wear the backpack of your baggage or not.

There is no point of behaving rudely or badly with your closed ones just because you have had a rough day outside in the real world. Leave all that at door, and be happy and tension free when you are away from all that mess.

What is the use of being burdened with tensions when you can just shake it off when you are away from it? Learn to let go and take one moment at a time. Life is not that difficult. You can either make yourself happy or miserable, the amount of work will remain the same. So why not be happy?

Do anything but don’t claim your baggage.

Think over it !

XOXO


Done with it!

The non-stop chit chats have turned into hours of silence, hours and hours of never ending awkward silence. Is this normal? Or what we had was normal? I fail to understand that, as both of these situations irritate me to the core. In the middle of all the silences, I feel like screaming at the top of my voice, get all the attention that I want, slap that person hard to knock in some sense and then cry my heart out! Can I do this? I wish I could, I wish I could follow my heart in this situation.

Three and a half years of friendship are getting flushed down the drain right in front of my eyes, and I really can’t do anything about it. How can things change so easily and quickly? How can your best friend choose someone else, some third person who came into her life way later than I did, over me? Was I just another person in her life, just like everybody else? I feel like I made a fool out of myself! More than that I feel like a door-mat!

Sitting beside her every day in discomfort is something that I had never imagined. I was a fool all this while. No one actually means what they say and show to it. I should’ve been more careful while opening myself up to others. Sometimes you end up hurting yourself just because you expected more out of others. It’s always your own mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Such is life. Not everyone that you come across in life is meant to be with you forever, more than that not all of them consider you that what you consider them.

I will always remember this friendship, cherish the good times, but I won’t cry over it anymore. It’s over and I am done with it. That person…..

Never mind, I am done with it!


New beginning or ending?

Click-click-click, that’s like my new kind of music right now. That’s the only sound that I listen to for 9 nine hours, every single day. (God, bless the weekends!) So it has just been a month since I have started working and yes, it’s my first job. (Or is it the last?) I have these people sitting around me, punching the keyboard keys to create this horrible-horrible music, I have literally started to hate the computer and keyboard now. I sit on my desk trying to do my best but there is always that one person who tries to pull you down and that person likes to paint my work with red, that’s how my work looks after she checks it, correcting the mistakes with a red highlighter by coloring every single word, line after line. The unnecessary corrections, as I wish to call them. The other day that person had checked my work and didn’t spot any errors, I was happy. The very next day, that person accidently re-checked the same work and to my surprise, painted it red again! Isn’t this a deliberate effort to pull me down?

So, every day I sit there thinking to myself, more like arguing with myself in my head that do I really need this? Do I really want to do this? Can I picture myself doing this or anything related to this 5 years down the line? The answer to everything is ‘No’. Then why am I doing it?

Ever since I have started commuting for college I used to look at all these people running around to catch their particular trains and think to myself that that’s not the kind of life I would ever want for myself and what difference would it even make if they missed this train and took the next train that will arrive in like 5 minutes? But do you know what have I been doing since this whole job thing? Doing exactly the same thing! Catching an 8:24am train is better than catching an 8:29am train. Why? Because you have to reach your god damn work place! I never wanted this for myself. Never! Even I have started running around, bumping into people to catch my train, bus or rickshaw. Standing in a crowded train, sticking to sweaty people and hear them fight early in the morning over a petite issue like why did you push me or take my seat. I don’t want to do this anymore.

I know the solution to this situation, then why am I not confident enough to follow it? I don’t want anyone shouting at me, I mean even my parents don’t do that to me, then why should I let a bunch of strangers do that to me? I want to be my own boss. I have something in mind to do of my own, rather start on my own. All I need is the confidence to start it. I know I’ll be good at it and even the money part will be taken care of. This whole work thing has negatively impacted me. I haven’t got much time with my loved ones, I have followed the crowd to reach a place on time, I have eaten my cold lunch from a tiffin box, I haven’t gotten time for myself or doing things that I love, I have  indulged in over thinking at work and even when I have reached home and I have stressed myself out.

Time is a good teacher and experience is a cruel teacher. True! Both of them have taught me something that otherwise I wouldn’t have learnt on my own.

A person is supposed to love what he does, right? I am going to do just that. ASAP!

PS: It feels so good to write for myself after a long time, almost like clearing up my head!


The Lucky One 

I have heard so much about myself from others. That now even though it all flatters me and makes me smile, very few of it actually touches my heart. And no I’m not bragging about anything here. Honestly, I don’t even think I deserve as much as I get. 

I have also heard that I am lucky for some people, that right when I entered their lives, every thing fell into place for them. Every little thing that wasn’t happening since years, finally happened when I entered. And everything turned upside down and became a complete chaos when I left. Obviously all this makes one feel special, but to me, all this raised questions. If I was so lucky for people, why did they treat me wrong? You don’t let go of your luck, do you? Then why wasn’t I kept happy? 
Of course initially everything seemed to be happy and good, but why didn’t that happiness sustain? What wrong did I do? I never asked for compliments, I never asked to make me feel special, I never asked to call me lucky, then why all the twists and turns?
How suddenly things jump from ‘there is no one like you’ to ‘you are just like all the other girls’, from ‘you mean so much to me’ to ‘you are a bitch’, from ‘I love you, please be with me forever’ to ‘don’t even show me your face ever again, just fuck off’! 
At the end of it all, it turns out to be yeah I was lucky, I was lucky enough to be fooled. The compliments turned to abuses, the love turned to hate and anger, the trust turned to, o wait, there never was any trust, the gentle touch turned to bruises, both emotionally and physically. And the lucky one then gets tossed over for nothing. People show their true colours. They finally set their priorities straight. But then I wonder, why did I had to go through all this? There were signs all along to get out of it, but I sat there giving chances, hoping. 
The good times were good, I was happy. But the bad times were really bad, tested me at every nook and corner throughout the path. Nevertheless, I still believe people are good, it’s just the situation that makes them behave in a certain way. But then again, as my friend says, it’s upon them as to how to behave/react in a particular situation. 
I don’t think or rather never thought that I truly deserve all the compliments or good words that I get. But I know I deserve more and better, and I won’t settle for less now. Finally I have sorted myself and now I know what I want from life. I won’t let all this get to me now, as I need to reach my planned destination. Nothing is going to affect me now. If I am that ‘lucky’ for others, I want to see how lucky I am for myself. I will craft my own luck and life.