2018 Rewind!

Hey, you guys!

Last day of the year! Woohoo or Thank God?

Unlike every other year, I really wanted this year to come to an end ASAP. It was a difficult or rather challenging year for me. Not completely grey though, it did include a few rainbows, a lot of happy memories, and lessons, but overall – blah!

I have done all sorts of things, which were very unlikely of me, this year! Some things still surprise me when I think about them. Made new friends, cracked a few deals on my own, signed my first invoice this year, yoga helped me big time, I have bigger goals and dreams for myself now, tasted both failure and success, partied a lot, cried a lot, laughed a lot, got my heart broken, broke someone’s heart, parted ways from someone I wanted to be around me for a long time, identified mental health and issues, faced a few health issues, life knocked me down and I got up stronger, met old friends, lost a few friends, and what more! It’s been a crazy crazy year!

Some people come into your life just to give you happy memories, make you laugh, make you feel loved, and then they just leave. I had one such person in my life this year. Being around this person damaged me a little, but I don’t regret it. It was also like the highlight to my crappy year. Wouldn’t rewrite this chapter of my life at any cost! I will cherish those moments forever. And I wish nothing but the best for this person. This chapter taught me so much, it was like having a deja-vu, because I have had a similar experience in the past, but ending this chapter was even more painful. Never knew I could have this connection with this person, but I am glad things happened the way they did. Ending this chapter was so damn difficult, even though I got my heart broken in this chapter and it was a one-sided story. I wish I knew back then that, that goodbye was going to be the last goodbye, I would’ve done it differently. But it’s okay, I learned my lessons, I have my good memories and pictures to look back at those days. For the book to move on, this chapter had to be closed! It hurts like crazy now, but it will be okay, eventually, everything becomes okay. Even the thought of not having this person in my life or seeing this person again, makes me tear up, but such is life. You don’t know how strong you are until you have to look at a person you love, point blank, and ask them to cut you out from their life because it will be for the best. I did that, and boy was it difficult! But it was something that had to be done. However, I wish the chapter had a different ending. I’ll miss this person and chapter a lot. Moving on…

I found new bonds in old friendships. Ravi and Yash have been there for me this year when I wasn’t able to handle things on my own when I had almost given up. Never knew I could share this amazing friendship with them. Thank you so much for being there for me, for being super honest, for being a shoulder to cry on, for silently being there when I didn’t even know I needed someone around me. Thank you for looking after me. You made this year a little easier for me. Thank you!

When everything else was falling apart, my crazy girl gang made things seem fun and okay, to me. Ritu, Pallavi, Wrutuja, Insha, what would I do without you guys? You guys mean a lot to me, more than what I can express! Even though everyone is busy in their lives right now, we all make time for each other, even if that’s just a sleepover. They are the people that show me the mirror when I paint things differently in my head, they show me the reality. I love them so much!

I hung out with my school friends the most this year. Diksha, Sid, Satyam, Anurag, Yash, and Joel, cheers to the ‘n’ number of times that we enjoyed this year! Went out the most with these guys this year and it was so much fun! Thanks for sloshing my year (IYKWIM) and making it fun!

I met my best friends from school after so long this year – Aditi and Deepta! It was only after I met them that I realized how much I missed them!

The person who stood by me through this crazy year  – Mayuresh! I can’t imagine my life without you. No matter what our equation is, I need you in my life! I am sorry for the massive amount of hurt and pain that I have given you this year, and I just don’t understand how you are still so good to me in spite of all that! You deserve nothing but the best in life! The peace and calm that you bring along with you, you know the effect that it has on me! You are like a charger, every time I run out of power, all I need is you to charge up again. Thank you for just being you amidst all the chaos. And I know, that no matter how many times I apologize to you, it won’t change the truth. But I am sorry for hurting you. I wish things could have worked out, but you deserve better! You are the most amazing person that I have ever met! No matter what or where life takes us, I need you in my life, my friend! Can’t do without you.

Lost my pet this year. Still, haven’t come to terms with it, so I am not able to type anything more than this. But when that happened, I was like is there anything else left that this year wants to take away from me? Everything that I loved deeply, 2018 took it away from me. It’s okay, it has only made me stronger.

Last but not least, my family. They were the first one to notice changes in my behavior and personality when things hit a new low this year. But they stood by me and my decisions. I realized that family comes before anything else in the world. Never do anything that would hurt your family in any way.

Few lessons that I learned in 2018:

  1. If someone treats you like an option, walk away! You aren’t an option. You deserve better.

  2. Stop giving your all to someone when you are getting nothing in return. You think you are doing it out of love, but that’s not how things work. It’s a two-way street, always remember that!

  3. Attachment sucks!

  4. Always listen to your mother! Always!

  5. It is okay to say ‘No’

  6. Spend more time with yourself. Meditate.

  7. Don’t take too much work pressure. Work is just a part of your life. No matter how much you love your work, always remember that it is just a part of your life. Don’t let your life revolve around your work.

  8. Never bottle things up inside you. Eventually, it is going to burst out. So might as well, keep expressing yourself, the good as well as the bad. But never keep things inside you.

  9. Dream and think big! You attract what you think.

  10. Find goodness in every situation. There is always a silver lining, all you have to do is look for it.

  11. Being self-critical won’t do any good to you. It will only throw you into a dark phase. All you need is someone to pull you out of it. So keep talking and sharing your feelings. Never blame yourself for every bad situation.

Well, this was my 2018. It showed me that I could hit a new low. But hey! I bounced back! Amidst all the chaos, I made a lot of beautiful memories. Grateful for everyone that was a part of my life this year!

How was 2018 for you?
And what are your plans for 2019?
I am going to focus on self-improvement in 2019. And my New Years Resolution would be to learn something new every month!

Happy New Years!
XOXO

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