I am a night person, by choice. But now insomnia has hit me really hard and I do not like that. I want to sleep at night, at least a few hours earlier than my new sleeping time. But I just can’t, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t. I have these thoughts that keep running in my head and just won’t leave me alone. Tried my hand at meditating, soothing music, good read, but nothing seems to help. And finally when I am able to sleep, I get these horrifying nightmares that make me wake up in the middle of the night with teary eyes.
I believe that most of this started right after I had a fight with my sister about some third person and she got really angry, picked up her pillow and walked out of the room. It makes me sad that she walked out on me for some third person; she left me alone in the bedroom when she knows that I can’t sleep alone and I need her hand to hold when I get scared by some noise from outside the window. Still, she left me. She seems like a different person altogether to me now. I miss my sister and the bond that we shared and the jokes that only we understood.
Also, when I say things like just three years are enough to completely change your life upside down, I somehow don’t believe myself while saying that. I don’t want to sacrifice, why should I? Is love always enough? Should love make you sacrifice? But what should be done when two people come together from two completely different backgrounds? When till the age of 24-25 a girl gets everything from her parents and then suddenly later on all she has to do is compromise and adjust. I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to step down in my life. Money, society, people, social life, they all matter and just love isn’t enough. Now when I think of it, I don’t find anything wrong when girls go out for guys who are well settled and earn enough to handle her. There is nothing wrong in that. I am ready to be the support, but will I get everything that I am being promised? Or will I be asked to adjust and compromise? Will both of them be able to adjust in each other’s life or not? Will their parents be okay with them?
Two people who have very different lives, in terms of family background, social life, financially, cities, lifestyle come together and…
I need sleep, a peaceful and a good night’s sleep.