History repeats itself 

As if my overthinking habit isn’t enough that I critically analyse my each and every thought at night. My mind runs faster after midnight, faster than ever after 2-3 am. 

I have finally come to the conclusion that I would try and not let my past affect my present and future. I have already made many mistakes and I have spoilt enough, but now I don’t want to risk my perfect present. I don’t know if my present will seriously be a part of my future or not, but I know I am happy this way. 

I have decided that I will just take the memories with me. It’s not worth it to go through the pain and tears all over again. I tried giving n number of chances, but apparently I wasn’t taken seriously enough. I have become a big joke for some. I know that. Now that I think of it, situations had given me clear hints time and again to walk out, but I stuck around giving chances. I don’t want to prove my feelings, loyalty to anyone now. Part of me still expects an apology for all the doubts, but then some people never learn. It hurts when every little feeling of yours gets a blind eye. There are still those nights when I silently weep thinking about those days. And the biggest joke happened on me! Yet again I became a fool to give another chance. And just like always I fell right on my face. Old habits die hard. You have to turn the page to go on to the next chapter. 

For once I know what makes me happy and calm and ‘me’. And my past fits nowhere in the scenario. Is it seriously behind me or am I still dragging it along? Lesson learnt yet again: some people NEVER change! 


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