The problem with me is that I allow people to take control of me. I don’t even realize it and very soon my life starts revolving just around them. This is wrong. I have learnt from my mistakes. I am not going to give this power to anyone now. Just one person will have control, and that is me. I don’t want to please anyone now. If you want to like me, go ahead. If you don’t like me, okay. If you want to get attached to me, sure but do that at your own risk. If you want to leave me and go, okay I will be fine.
It’s enough now, I don’t want to keep thinking about others first because eventually it gets tiring to keep their wishes above yours. And when none of your efforts are valued or even considered, that hurts. I don’t want to be the one to sacrifice every single time. I don’t want to be answerable to anyone from now on. Why should I even be?
I know that I have flaws, and it’s me who has to live with them not anyone else. I don’t want anyone to change anything about me. If you want me, accept me just the way I am. Flawed and dented. I don’t need anyone, I am okay being alone. I have goals to accomplish and I don’t want any major distractions or anything that will keep me away from it. I don’t want to anyone pulling me down, be with me only if you wish to be a part of it all.
Off lately I have got to know so much about myself. And another thing that I got to know about myself is that I am like a grenade. I am fully capable to hurting and exploding everyone who is close to me. So get close to me or attached to me and be ready to be hurt. *boom* I am okay running away from all those who are close to me now only because I don’t want them to be hurt. Baring the pain to get away from them is fine by me, but I can’t bare the pain of seeing them get hurt because of me.
For a person like me being single and alone is way better. That way I won’t hurt anybody. I am now building up these huge walls around me so that no one gets over them and reaches to me. Solace is good. I am just okay.